Unfinished

I lay in silence

Numb to the pain

No energy for tears or sleep or food

No happiness remains

And in the moonlight I suffer

By day I wear a mask

I know this hurt is temporary

Someday it will be past

Confusion washes over me

Since I believed in you

I always thought we had it all

The perfect fantasy to get us through

Even though I was blindsided

I want to make it through

And I’m afraid to feel again

But I’m no longer chained to you

Despite your best efforts

You cannot break me beyond repair

Yes I’m afraid to feel again

But I’ve forgotten our brief affair

I guess our story doesn’t get the luxury

Of an epic epilogue

But the least you could’ve done for me

Was attempt to clear the fog

I wonder if it’s always who you’ve been

Was I too blind to see?

A man, I thought I caught a glimpse, and then

Returned to immaturity.

How can I put it kindly?

I lost all respect you see

I don’t miss the person you’ve become

I avoided catastrophe

And as the veil is lifted

As the smoke clears

I find my happiness

And forget about my fears

I almost have myself convinced

Please forgive me if I’m rude

It’s easier to be enraged

Than to keep on loving you

October 2015