Treatment

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

am I crazy?

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

am I crazy?

As I sit and reflect

on time well-spent

outside my head, released from my own thoughts

As I sit and remember

the things that I said

my words so precious and my experiences so fresh

I come to realize that I know horrors I never knew I knew

and for the first time I feel

sorrow so far surpressed

GUILT

SHAME

HATE

ANGER

Is it me?

Am I the problem?

How can so many bad things happen

to one single person

if there is not something

somewhere

deep inside

that’s wrong with me?

And so I sit in sadness

as I realize I’m not as

self-aware as I previously believed

I sit and realize that I’m living in fear

of myself.

And what I’m capable of.

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

am I crazy?

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

I’mnotcrazy

am I crazy?

And as I sit and reflect

on my diagnosis

I realize

I am crazy.

March 2016